Oh my gosh I just can't take this. He's leaving immature away messages about how his heart was ripped out. I respond with an away message of how sorry I am. He retorts by cussing me out. On AIM of all places. I hate this. This is the worst thing that I've ever had to do to anybody. If he knew me at all he wouldn't think like this about me. He never really knew me. He claimed to be in love with me after two weeks, which freaked me out. When I broke up with him, he claimed he would always love me. I stayed with him because he was an amazing person and we got along really well. I could very well have kept that going just to have someone need me, to avoid being alone. But I didn't think it was fair to him, knowing that he thought he loved me and that I couldn't reciprocate the feeling. Now he and his cousin Nicole (who I live with and who has been my best friend here this year) have called it a "spring break break-up." He thinks there's someone else who I met on spring break, even though I promised him there wasn't. She says I had fun in Mexico and now I just don't need him anymore. I can't handle this. Even my other housemates are upset with me. They all really liked him and don't understand why I had to hurt him like that. So a couple of them are giving me the cold shoulder. So many people think less of me now, but I did what I thought I had to in order to be fair. I just don't know what to do. I've never been in a position like this. All these people who are upset...usually I would be the one they would come to and vent, now I'm the one they have a problem with. I don't know what I have to do to make this better, all I know is I can't sleep at night and I cry whenever I'm alone. I did the right thing for myself and in the end it will be the right thing for him too, but in the meantime I hate what that's gotten me. I don't even want to be with anyone right now. I feel like I don't deserve it. Sorry for the melodrama and the self-pity. I'm just upset right now and had to vent. Thanks.

Yeah, so I broke up with him last night. It was one of the hardest things I've had to do. My rationale is exactly how Val described it in the last entry's shout out. Anyhow, I feel like an awful person...